My Thoughts on Companionship

Since this topic is a lot on my & my parents’ minds – I thought of exploring it better & structuring it for getting some key insights out!

As a kid, as far as I can remember – I have always enjoyed others’ company & guidance, infact it has been almost a shortcoming like every other kid where they look for approval of others in everything.
I have also enjoyed making special friends who I can confide in & can spend time with, share lunches, viewpoints, learn from, etc.

As I grew up – I started looking at it as a BIG cause for my well being & that is where I went wrong a bit. I started over depending for every small emotional & needs on others which resulted in unnecessary emotional baggage!

But there has been something that I have learnt about companionship – IT CHANGES with TIME. And I have always looked at future possible relationships with the thought that things can change anytime coz of no fault of either parties. So there is no point in stressing over something that is frivolous in its nature.
There is another fact I have learnt that with plenty of external responsibilities, expectations – it has become more & more a thing of convenience. Which people develop & then break off as per their convenience. Even I might have done the same to others UNKNOWINGLY coz I know I cant do it on purpose.

Most of the reasons I have distanced from others is because they have resulted in making me the kind of person I don’t wish to be (mostly clingy & emotional). And it has always felt right after distancing myself from most of them. Some of them I have tried to touch base again for some reason & they have been great or many have not depending on situations on both sides.

Hence I have decided to be extremely careful about where I would invest my emotional energies & how which I believe is a good sign. It is important that people are busy & passionate, achievers in their own rights in their own fields. There should only be some necessary attachment or need for support which should be provided when really required.

But mostly the Best Ideal Companionship lets you be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be! I don’t think its clingy, its downgrading, it maybe makes you think a bit at necessary times but I do think a healthy functional relationship is positive, encouraging & motivating, supporting for mutual benefit.

And my aim is that only in any of the relationship/ friendship I seek – I find it very suffocating when it becomes selfish & malicious, power play, abusive as these are not the traits that I have grown up with & permit to stand on value system.

And I have decided that I will not accept sub – standards come what may in terms of work, husband, friends, hobbies, any ecosystem associated with me. #GodSpeed #WillNotRelent

 

 

Advertisements

Indian Gifts that will shine always #2018

  • YOGA
  • Ayurveda
  • Indian Education System
  • Family Ecosystem
  • Business Culture of the small families, SMEs & SHGs
  • Mahabharat + Ramayan epics
  • Peace – Buddha, Gandhi, Jainism Message
  • Technology Outsourcing yep – The Brain Drain!
  • Strong depth of History & Culture

What India needs to be known for even more :

  • Creating an indigenous model for rural + urban cooperation in health, education, individual spending habits
  • Lost & Found unique examples of Art, culture, food, handicraft, faith, medicinal treatments, astrology, science, maths
  • Unique Business Models like Dabbawala serving masses involving huge labour & connect with upper middle classes
  • Adopting Modernism in Agriculture (yet to happen)
  • Developing models around sanitation, cleanliness, desalination of water, renewable energy, Better Forecast Mechanisms

My Fears for Indian Growth :

  • Money Ownership concentrated to limited HNIs much like Middle East
  • Aspirations & Representations like USA but lack of system might topple them to the other side
  • So far rapid growth & development in manufacturing, electronics, Digital is due to China (aping)
  • Laggardness in promoting Pride & History like Europe
  • Different cultures & variety like SEA & Europe again proving to be a challenge

In reality – India shall grow by a unique model of Govt & a few HNI hand in hand for now. Remaining Pvt bodies as well as SMEs will have to be alot more cooperative to Govt regulations & financial guidelines to ensure the growth is entirely & completely inclusive. Once that happens & penetration of the Good can go deep, growth will automatically happen which I have no doubt about.

Also India & Indians need to understand a few other things :

  • Less spending time on mobile & digital devices
  • More time being spent on exploring & understanding the world + people around you
  • Less spending time & energy & giving less importance to celebrities & entertainment modes or other distracting modes
  • More time being spent on knowing your trueselves & your true potentials
  • Aping others blindly for solutions, inspirations
  • Being independent, fearless, self reliant in true meaning

images

Human’s Stay on Earth

Have been thinking lately (these thoughts are definitely not based on any recent developments but are based on my observations, interactions, discussions, reading over the past known years).. am quite certain of following views as well :

  • I do not think that Humans were supposed to breed on this planet, this planet was (if) created then was meant for appreciation, wonder, happiness, peace, plentifulness, etc. As story goes Adam n Eve faulted & every one later are bearing the (black) fruits of it!
  • Coming on this earth, in which family, country, religion, etc. are not chosen by anyone. However what one believes, controls, speaks, acts, behaves, etc. are & should be owned by the individual herself/himself. Saying this is how it happens coz of background or circumstances is simply a poor craftsman
  • Now that one has come on this planet & got a life, body, mind, heart – one should make the max use of it to lead a fulfilling life which does not harp on any negativity, demeans others lives, compares, hurts oneself or others, etc.
  • Whatever life one gets – 10/30/50/70 years – one should lead a healthy meaningful life while trying to uplift others around, give hope/faith amongst others. Create & sustain happiness while discarding materialism.
  • In order to achieve this, one is gifted skills/knowledge/awareness which are to be made the most use of to uplift themselves as well as others around them. Acting selfish is going against the basic purpose of this life.

Some Blabber More..

Last night dinner with my cousin.. a few thoughts came up, which I have been thinking a lot lately for self improvement, became clearer & stronger further :

  • Confidence to look inside by being objective came from doing decently well at WORK – which is probably not Ideal or recommended but in my case it had to be via Work because it plays an extremely important role in my life.
  • Piush had alot to do with giving this confidence & then mentoring me to look further inside to become a better person – though his recommendations were from work aspects but its not surprising that exactly same qualities are required by me in current life – To be Analytical, Amiable 🙂 always..
  • Sneha’s constant response to my blabbers, traits, behaviours, words were more than helpful – Probably I am indebted to her for Life for this. I used to always think that am high on empathy, concern for others & outward looking while honestly I was only being selfish in all my pursuits by only expressing what I felt was right while ACTUALLY NOT realising what the other person is saying or wanting to say or means or feels. This has been a revelation of sorts to be equally if not more concerned about what the other person is saying, feeling, thinking, wanting.
  • Probably all my relationships have gone wrong at some points coz of my constant need to control & looking inward only – Mac, Rahul, Appy, Shweta Di, Nakul are a few I can think FirstHand.
  • Am not very good at Letting Go! It comes from Impatience, not trusting others to do the Right, not giving space – COMPLETE NO NO!
  • I was not very good at having difficult conversations – but have to learn the art of having a difficult conversation in a calm & peaceful way.
  • I did fear losing others and myself a lot – majorly Fear was making all the decisions which is not the Right way always! 

StartUp Advantages – Found My Solace of Split Personalities!

Startups can be almost like On-ground Battles where warriors (I hope am in this category), soldiers, Army Generals come out with their weapons & unleash their true powers, diplomacies, tactics, strategies to simply come out Winning!

buddha-war

Everyone has a personality, a background, a history, her/his own talents + pursuits + motivations! Its exciting hence to come out a winner in a place where everyone is not fake!

Personally for me, its extremely acceptable environment because I get to be myself & not pretend to be constrained in chains which is the case with big Corporate Houses so Thank God for Startups for coming in our lives!

I know now some things clearly about myself which I will never compromise for anything/anyone :

  • Am extremely High Energy & Enthusiasm, I thrive in it
  • Am ‘almost’ passionate about my Work – I love living for it if I see a purpose in it else I love focussing on my health, family, friends, travel, photography, shopping, movies, music, etc.
  • I love being clear headed for myself + my loved ones & having simple, clarity oriented people around me who speak well, high, progressive & modern
  • I love being around self motivated, energetic & idea oriented people
  • I love new ideas, new projects
  • I have my own ways of managing things, people & situations and I like keeping it that way – Open to learnings from People I appreciate & Like but should be careful about the latter to not do it too much as well
  • I can’t take bullshit & not very good with managing that – got to working on defining the boundaries again & ensuring both parties honour it fairly
  • I tend to get self critical about my short term goals, long term purpose, even people which at best be avoided – Just #AvoidSocialism at personal level to push a greater purpose

I have also realised post working in StartUps & Corporate world for 7+ years now that the Game is all about Managing People & Yourself Basically. Deliverables, Results & Negotiation Skills, Achievements, KPIs, Projects, Ideas, Success become very subjective & actually more of a result if You manage the former Well !

One more of my recent sure shot finding are about top B-schools in the country having such different cultures of people (and the recent batches have really diluted the value) :

  • XL + IIMC have cooler & people oriented people
  • IIMA have too hard task master oriented people
  • IIMB are too serious, thorough, professional – almost similar breed to ISB
  • Rest are almost similarly inconsequential 😉

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑