What & Who I wanted to be as a kid..

Looking back 20-25 years back into my mind palace of the younger me – just for fun or to just check how far I have arrived in the true/correct direction, I do not feel very different or overwhelmed in any happy/sad way.

I remember as a 10 year old wanting to be good, I wanted to excel, compete & come first in Sports, Theatre, painting, studies, being loved, looking smart, etc. etc.
So yeah wanting to be best in short!

As I grew & figured out a way to do graduation, PG, job – I realised different meanings of being best or successful or happy – they were a lot more Convoluted & Grey! I also realised the importance of having different perspectives & respecting all while peacefully keeping your point of view or beliefs without hurting others.

I learnt to bring a lot more from your inner self not just in terms of physical strength, talents, mental capability but something bigger & eternal – your INNER SELF which is difficult to describe & explain but the one who connects to it & listens to it always is a WINNER throughout. I realised it is more important to give than to receive, that one has to ultimately LetGo everything for everything to eventually come back to him/her.

I learnt that it is critical to be more positive, warm, smiling, energetic, motivated, friendly everyday basis & keep your darkness/distractions/sadness/confusions at bay. The few questions that tend to keep honking will get answered on its own.

I realised happily that there is so much beauty in this world to explore via music, food, places, photography, dance, movies, people, art, architecture, history, etc. etc. They are like museums to go & take a walk & come back feeling so much better & learned.

Most importantly I have learned the value of Patience – of having an endless supply of it in all times – good & bad. The ones I love & admire have abundance of it & have benefitted from it time & again. Life has taught me its importance even if I have few miles to cover in mastering its art.

Health & delving into its science has come as another big reminder.

Am not sure how proud & happy the 10 year old Misha would be by looking at Today’s Misha but she would sure be fascinated at the journey travelled so far by her older version with so many artefacts that were beyond the imagination of her younger version. But beyond anything she will pat today’s Misha’s back that she has managed to be the same honest & simple human being true to herself despite all odds! 100/100 for that 🙂

Lots more to come!

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Current Stage – Consolidation!

This is how I would like to see this stage as – Consolidating my health, work, personality amongst all priorities.

Work – its going rather well so far (touchwood) with UX & Digital Business responsibilities & got an amazing Boss to interact daily with as a friend, mentor, guide.

Health – Solid effort going in here & do not want this to get impacted in any way. Reduced frame-size, increased strength, stamina, daily workout sessions with right set of positive & vibrant people is extremely helpful.

Personality – I have been wanting to become a more calm, controlled, serene, fewer words, more giving, letting go person for some time now. I am glad to say that I do see with time, people, efforts – things are moving in that direction.

Household responsibilities along with eating habits – This was a major cause of worry in my case as I was quite lazy & careless like a (tom) boy towards this. However with time, effort & people again – I have learnt to take care of these things as they are extremely crucial to lead a happy & balanced life. Now I eat, sleep on time – somehow if I can change the food at office – it will be perfect.

Friends/People/Family – With maturity & experience, I have learnt to appreciate the kind of people I want to have around me while keeping others at bay. Gone are the days when I used to get confused among friends, situations & used to find myself gasping for escape. Glad to have found more solace here – Finding my Man is the only gap waiting to be fulfilled.

My startup/business – Having my own Digital Consultancy is what has come as an ideal solution for me – Let us see if I do this or something else. The school + studio + organic farm + yoga retreat house Dream also awaits. Refinement is awaiting & other pieces waiting to fall into place.

Travel/Photography – This is the only spot I feel am not doing 100% justice to given the amount of travel & clicking I used to do till 1 year back when every week I would just take off locally and every 2-3 months some place out. However, this piece is also getting consolidated now by pushing me into doing only great memorable trips solo or with 1 or 2 people I really wish to be with. Am sure my clicking results have grown & will continue to amaze everyone!

Amen!

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I wish to be..

I wish to be a fewer words person…
Even if there are umpteen feelings, emotions rising inside…

I want to be balanced & serene & softer/mellower…
Even if any situation demands me to have reactions…

I want to be womanlike graceful & aesthetically class apart…
Even if people around me fail to appreciate it same time..

Wish to be far more travelled, exposed to different people/cultures,
Even if it takes far more effort & time to make plans & execute them..

I wish to be with People who let me be and at the same time inspire me to grow..
Even if it means exploring wide & waiting for right selection while being without one/few…

I wish to be self sufficient emotionally, financially, socially..& feel confident, assured about it..
Even if it means telling yourself to be strong every day,moment!

(Dedicated towards all the women in daily lives who achieve this consistently knowingly & KungFu Panda 3 which thought once again to have belief in all the goodness around)12799105_10153943476592731_8114143395436703172_n

Rise & Shine.. Everytime!

Rise n shine…bright & fine…
To strike the chime….
Not to miss a single time…
Also not lose a single dime..

Luckily had some time to dine…
Accompanied by a toasty wine..
& Berries picked from a fresh vine..

Same time met a friend of mine..
Who had just found a goldmine…
By crossing over the French Line..

Retreating home, found a forest of pine
Tried searching some solace  – but no sign!
At last realised on reaching home on time,
Rise & Shine every time is the Line to Rhyme..

Important to Let Go!

I wanted to write about a different topic in here but decided that the above title encompasses a bigger message hence let me write more comprehensively about the importance of letting Go!

I wanted to write about how many wrong people or right people in wrong situations I have come across starting from some very wrong friends I trusted to some selfish relatives I invested to some negative & weak colleagues.
How I look at them now when I find myself much better placed emotionally, mentally and financially is quite interesting – I feel that in every fairytale there has to be a witch, a demon which needs to be fought with the same positive spirit to arrive at your destination.

Being sensitive & shy in my approach towards strangers and even more sceptical in establishing relationships but once trusted I believe in giving everything – it was difficult to learn the lessons the trial & error way but very valuable forever.

The biggest lesson I learnt was to Let go! Letting Go in every respect – forget, forgive & wish them luck with true heart. Let them achieve their own destiny – what it will be is to be decided by them on their own.

The lesson of Letting Go is not only applicable here but in bigger tasks as well – in achievement of your bigger goals in life. Its simply put as Gita says – do your job & don’t expect results as that’s not your job.

Just let go truly from your heart & everything will fall into place – but don’t expect things if the effort has not been done from your side. The secret of understanding the balance between these two contradictory actions is very critical.
Even once you truly understand it – it requires constant & conscious practice/effort to apply it in your daily lives.

But once you do – the results are to be seen in everything – your work life, personal life, your personality, your face, the way you talk, etc. everything.

Here’s wishing all of us truly achieve it in every way possible and every facet of life.

 

How was the last year 2015?

When I sit back and look at how the last 12 months/365 days went – I think it was great! Great from learning, personal growth & most importantly getting closer to the ultimate dream of being happy and peaceful 🙂

It began with carrying forward of 2014 learnings of Geeta & Yoga of getting closer to oneself & focussing on the pertinent question of “Who am I?”, focussing on one’s Karma, one’s present moment, focussing on one’s breathing to relax among many others.
There were some personal setbacks too which I choose to not mention here.

Most importantly – I got back to doing Gym & playing TT which helped me in achieving a lot better mental + physical health. My mood swings were much more in control & I could focus on my work & myself a lot more.
On another important achievement, my role developed into something better than I hoped & I believe I can take it into something bigger & better from here having realised my forte` a lot better now – Digital Marketing & Product Development.

What I hope to focus more from here on are –
1) Health – I want to achieve a lot more fitter body & want to be more strong mentally which is more fearless & focussed along with being kind, calm, sweet.
2) Startup – I want to save for the same along with developing my model & wish to gather a core team as well.
3) Travel & Click – As much, as far, as frequent, with as many new nice people possible – Abroad/Hill Stations/Rajasthan/MP/AP on my list
4) Financial Savings – to build it further to give me more options in future
5) Personal Individual Family/Life Partner – I strongly believe now, it will be answered soon now as soon as I reach where am supposed to 🙂 Just need to stop seeking to find the answers – LetGo! I also wish to read more & wide now.

These things pretty much emphasise my short term & long term goals.

Why I do Photography?!

My first stint with camera I remember is clicking as a kid with my Dad’s mirror-less Kodak camera with a roll inside from the age of 9. The reason was that it helped me grab a frame that would go down for eternity – as I had seen plenty of family albums with black & white images – weddings, picnics, festivals, new born kids in studios, old family patriarchs in their rocking chairs. However the ones that held my attention for longest and I considered closest were the candid images – with my dad/mom/dadi/baba,etc. looking carelessly or sometimes not even looking at the camera. Yet they came across as loveable people – that made me love them more.

Coming back to my stint with camera – though I started at age of 9 however I did not have much control over what I shot so I felt in a way I was not improving nor learning much. I did not continue it till I came in MBA course. Here as well I did not have a camera however I felt great almost high when I saw some great images of my batch-mates and that is how I came to know about DSLR – as late as 2010.

{Late it was given the international scenario however in India – the photograph enthusiasts had started owning one since 2007-08.}

All I remember is that the first thing I wanted to buy for myself after MBA from my own money, even more than good food & clothes, was a DSLR. I felt it would be my VENT for my creative energies, it would act as my correspondent for whatever good I had to share with the world apart from my professional career where not much was in my control. It would also be my friend when I travel, meet new people, look at things differently or just when I didn’t want to express anything. And voila, it has been the best friend & companion in the world so far. Words are not enough to thank it – the fact that I can go back and revisit all that we saw together & cherish memories or better find new facts while staring at a rare image makes everything more special about it.

I had to push myself to go and click every weekend in the beginning, even silly events, not so happening places, disinterested people but the importance was on building a routine, a group of self critics who push each other and in the process share some good stuff. However, that was just a beginning.

My real turning point came during April – June 2012 when I visited Cape Town and Kashmir, I saw my photography grow by leaps and bounds. Combined with a new zoom lens, beautiful landscapes, relaxed atmosphere I just delved and delved into clicking what I loved – landscapes, candid, street. The results for the first time surprised me and I knew I have something good to share with everyone else for sure.

Post that – it was Spiti that brought good from me, Delhi Archeological buildings, recently Kasol, Northeast/Northwest India and some product/candid/street shoots that I really enjoyed while exploring. Exposure to Steve Mccurry’s work makes me push more & more. Sadly 90% of other people I find in this space are simply either wannabes, non-inspiring, ill – informed about their talents and for some reason I have not been able to tell any of them honestly what I think about their work.

Why I still click – coz it has become an inseparable aspect of my life, it helps me capture something that connects my inside with the world outside and keep it for eternity, it helps me in expressing my feeling about my surroundings, interactions with people, my perspective in one frame without saying a word and perhaps also share with the world.

I wish & hope I get to cover every inch worth on the Earth & capture everything that connects with me by my camera-mushy!

India – a method to the chaos

This statement is quite casually put to explain the way India operates to people trying to understand Indian system. Even scientifically a lot of institutions have  tried to find justification to the above statement with no consolidated results to showcase so far. But it won’t be wrong to suggest that above statement DOES explain a lot what is wrong and still correct with Indian system. Someone can hear a song – “Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani.. (Still heart is Indian despite everything).

The traffic is the first and perhaps biggest system management representation of how Indians operate, how they flung the rules, how considerate they are towards others. Not to say that everyone is bad or everything happening here is wrong as 1000+ people die everyday in India on road but as the optimist shall say 1crore+ people are saved as well :). The requirement is definitely for making traffic laws and law guardians ie traffic policemen/ladies more empowered – increase their salaries, make them more accountable, train them, help them in becoming no less efficient than an army officer or an investment banker for that matter.

Same can be said for law & order situation in India – the police administration, the judicial system are pillars without which any democracy or country will fail. In India, there are millions of ways of finding loopholes in here to find a way for yourself. A highly functioning country cannot afford to have 1 in 2 policemen who have oodles of pounds added around the tyre region who fail to empathise forget giving help to the needy. Again, a revamp with focus on their basic qualification, aptitude, attitude, fitness, salary structure is in the order.

Agriculture, Municipal societies, Education, Medical, Government services sectors are representing above examples’ chaos as well.

There have been a few sectors which have seen privatisation post the liberalisation policy of 1992 – Aviation, Telecom/Communication, IT services, Media, Food & Beverages, FMCG, Banking, Pharmaceuticals, Construction/Infrastructure are chief I can recall among others. These sectors have seen practices from abroad coming into implementation, a good level of competition to out do each other, high influx of educated youngsters joining them, consistent growth & contribution towards GDP, certain positioning at international scenario for India.
Not to stress that jobs in these sectors are in high demand at engineering, MBA and other colleges.

My country is great – nobody can deny or takeaway that from me. Am moment and again filled with the optimism for the highest notch that my country can reach. I am also one of those old school people who value the rich culture, family values, history values that my country keeps close to Her heart. Though what is required along with the Govt reforms is change of approach/attitude of my own countrymen/ladies – to not think of themselves first at every opportunity. In public places – think for the public too, while in a queue – keep your patience for others too, while driving or being driven – respect other people’s comforts/lives too.

Today, my country is highest growing nation in the world – its no mean feat achieved basis hard work of countrymen favoured by govt policies. Let us not stop till we are able to provide every single Indian anywhere in the world with clean food to eat, clean water to drink, healthy air to breathe, clothes to cover, shed to protect heads and few other basic amenities along with respect, dignity to withstand anything.

Love, Power & Amen!

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My Wishlist for one of my States & its People

I get asked about my loyalties to which of the indian states a lot – as I have spent 13 years in U.P, 8 in Gujarat, 2 in Jharkhand, 3 in Maharashtra, 2 in Delhi, 1 in Karnataka majorly. My name is non – Indian, My surname is non detrimental in terms of nailing my origin state. My way of speaking Hindi tells people I am from North, my thoughts & lifestyle from West – so people get confused and I enjoy it as I like calling myself Indian as an identity and that’s it.

To answer the question in response to their curiosity – I tend to divide the response between North and West depending on who is asking the question and in what relevance. I sometimes also tend to explain my family background to some and how I am truly Indian in terms of my loyalties to a state.

However, if there is one State I genuinely wish to grow & come out from its old tittering historical chains – it is my state of birth and ancestors – U.P. This state was the battleground of Independence struggle, even Mahabharat, Ramayan are based here, from cultural, historical, political standpoint – I do not think any state can match U.P.’s relevance.

And it is sad to see its state in shatters – I do not have to go very far to understand it. I have toured multiple states for education, work, sports and U.P. stands out in terms of its potential of resources, population, relevance but the lifestyle, living conditions, infrastructure, facilities, law & order, women’s security, revenue generation, industrial development being far behind from other states.

The political aspects has not helped however if I have to blame one thing then I will blame the People living here themselves. Be it the man, woman, kid, elderly – they all seem to have happily accepted their grim state of affairs and love being not optimistic about future. My parents always pushed me to do well in studies however I am sure apart from that they did not have much recommendations on what does good things in life mean. 99% people I have met here do not understand the meaning of a good lifestyle, a relaxed, healthy, smiling, optimistic, quality, modernly equipped lifestyle.
They tend to somehow believe that being depressed, emotional, old school is the way ahead. I wish they will change.

Lastly and most importantly, I wish the men of this state to understand the real meaning of machoism, chauvinism and give space, respect & equal importance to women in their lives. I wish for the girls in this state to be able to achieve what they dream for and are not given any less opportunity than boys or kids of other states. (HeforShe)

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