My Thoughts on Companionship

Since this topic is a lot on my & my parents’ minds – I thought of exploring it better & structuring it for getting some key insights out!

As a kid, as far as I can remember – I have always enjoyed others’ company & guidance, infact it has been almost a shortcoming like every other kid where they look for approval of others in everything.
I have also enjoyed making special friends who I can confide in & can spend time with, share lunches, viewpoints, learn from, etc.

As I grew up – I started looking at it as a BIG cause for my well being & that is where I went wrong a bit. I started over depending for every small emotional & needs on others which resulted in unnecessary emotional baggage!

But there has been something that I have learnt about companionship – IT CHANGES with TIME. And I have always looked at future possible relationships with the thought that things can change anytime coz of no fault of either parties. So there is no point in stressing over something that is frivolous in its nature.
There is another fact I have learnt that with plenty of external responsibilities, expectations – it has become more & more a thing of convenience. Which people develop & then break off as per their convenience. Even I might have done the same to others UNKNOWINGLY coz I know I cant do it on purpose.

Most of the reasons I have distanced from others is because they have resulted in making me the kind of person I don’t wish to be (mostly clingy & emotional). And it has always felt right after distancing myself from most of them. Some of them I have tried to touch base again for some reason & they have been great or many have not depending on situations on both sides.

Hence I have decided to be extremely careful about where I would invest my emotional energies & how which I believe is a good sign. It is important that people are busy & passionate, achievers in their own rights in their own fields. There should only be some necessary attachment or need for support which should be provided when really required.

But mostly the Best Ideal Companionship lets you be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be! I don’t think its clingy, its downgrading, it maybe makes you think a bit at necessary times but I do think a healthy functional relationship is positive, encouraging & motivating, supporting for mutual benefit.

And my aim is that only in any of the relationship/ friendship I seek – I find it very suffocating when it becomes selfish & malicious, power play, abusive as these are not the traits that I have grown up with & permit to stand on value system.

And I have decided that I will not accept sub – standards come what may in terms of work, husband, friends, hobbies, any ecosystem associated with me. #GodSpeed #WillNotRelent

 

 

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Growing Up in India!

Growing up in Indian Middle Class society can be a bit middle aged like… and if one is growing up in an industrial colony then one can be more shielded in terms of what world has to offer!

In my experience too, I felt the world coming alive in its full potential & form only once I started working which is early to mid 20s! I believe that’s the difference between our kids & west where they are exposed to the full force from mid to late teens so we are about 7-8 years behind them in that exposure!

What happens is that we have a bit more refined way of approaching the new forms of life – living on your own, taking care of household needs, bills & utilities, safety + security, greeting up to strangers, transportation, planning savings + travel, etc. So our scope of error is lesser but we adapt faster as well.

Their social setting of Letting Things Go at individual & family level is what sets them apart! That doesn’t mean unleashing the devil absolutely but basically not bothering too much about every little thing is AWESOME!

For me to adapt to that at individual & family level to SLOWLY LET THINGS SHAPE UP has been the most ARDUOUS PROCESS!

Learning to build the blocks gradually & not giving up, shaping up oneself with time, enjoying small moments along the way, not giving up on ones values, Letting things be especially the ones which are not in one’s control HAS COME WITH A LOT OF EFFORT FROM INSIDE! It may seem so stupid & so so inconsequential but then one knows what one goes through.
For me applying myself, committing myself to a cause, adapting, pushing comes easy but Letting Go comes with A LOOOOTTTT of EFFORT! 🙂

One more important learning for me has been how to not lose your direction, your spirit for an obstruction – maybe one has to sacrifice on the speed/momentum a bit but don’t ever GIVE UP for anything! Become only stronger, resilient to everyone!

Another has been to give up on WHAT OTHERS THINK – That just doesn’t matter for the Hell!! One should be intuitive to what others are upto & are thinking but never give in to others intention.

Just believing in the Good & let your Karma do the talking has been my simple mantra for sometime!

PEACE

 

 

 

 

Its That Kinda India

Yes India is growing & India shall keep growing fast for next few decades! The standards of livings shall improve, the infrastructure shall go up, Businesses shall prosper, education & qualifications shall go up!

There will be alot we will miss & complain – but lets keep that for some other day!

Today, I wish to mention that how Different India will be once it grows up more! We have examples of plenty of developed economies in Democracy & Communist spaces – USA, Europe, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan. But India is coming up different – very different from others.

The colours, shades of Culture, Family orientations, Concerns/Fears form very much part of the pattern developing!
It does seem confused many a times – not here neither there. You see alot of aspirations, a lot of efforts not getting completely through, alot of announcements at govt & institution levels, alot of drama in the names of celebrity lives, the great divide between the few privileged & majority deprived, alot of arrogance & over confidence at Youth level, etc. etc.
But it seems to be GIVING ITS OWN FLAVOUR to the whole story!

India shall be dominant in many spaces for sure – Sports, Fashion, Movies, Technology, Health, Medical, Manpower, Agriculture, etc. etc. – everything will have its own roadmap period to achievement & some even might not however the lives of everyone shall be improved without differentiation & that is a DREAM we millennial have grown up with!

One thing is very clear that there is a huge section of Flamboyancy which has found its place in the Indian Social Fabric – lead by movie stars, cricketers + league sports (I would love to slip in National Women’s Cricket & National Football Team), Industrialists, Fashionistas which could be too much into your face many times but it also provides the much needed energy & visibility to Keep Performing, Going, Life in general.

My wish – there was enough importance & visibility & encouragement given to the process + effort that goes behind making our Country Great in fields of science, engineering, administration, law & order, etc. Its these struggles & how people excel despite this is what defines Human Success in my opinion.

Second thing very clear to me is that there is this huge section of aspirational middle class audience which wants fast fame, fast growth, they want to emulate these so called “media created stars” in terms of lifestyle, relationships, fashion genres, etc. It looks very scary & downhill for me + am sure there is a better way to attain that.

Regarding my own space in it – am sure there will be one amongst many/few 🙂

Taking my Own Path

Creating my own Path has been something I have known & practiced since age small. Being different, trying to be my own person – following what is acceptable to me as a human but also not coming anti – society has been something that have been extremely important to me & I have been proud of.

Be it my taste of music, food, clothes, choice of career, entertainment, hobbies, passion, people, friends, people around me – I have tried to be my own person & some have understood it. Though many I believe have silently appreciated it!

It has landed me somewhere – it has made me socially awkward or difficult to mix but I have let my humility & helpfulness guide me when faced with such situations.
Also it has made me more focussed to achieve my dreams – go from strength to strength!

But I feel I have found a great friend in me who tends to care for me & understands my past, present & future plus always edges me to achieve the best!

ZINGOGRAPHY : TECH/PRODUCT/UX/STARTUP UPDATE # 7

Sharing my list of most useful Apps (based on popularity, experience, usefulness) :

  • WhatsApp
  • Gmail
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Amazon
  • Google Maps
  • Wikipedia
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

Last two are my least favourite of all – they are just latching around for lack of options!

Will add more in due course

Its quite Peaceful Here… BUT

As am home of my parents in Dehradun, am feeling very peaceful – almost Zen with no wishes & no consequences concern whatsoever!

But its almost to the tune of being inactive which I detest quite – so I try & form a routine to please all around me including self which involves reading, taking a stroll, a physical activity, prepping for future as well.

But in the midst of my writing this blog, I did not estimate my father’s extreme temperament into records and so I will need to rattle a bit about it (more for the need to vent the same structurally). It so happens that he’s a product of the patriarchal family (though his mom & my grand-mom was an extremely strong & expressive lady) & has been given extreme importance for his immature & rash behaviours of the past. He did well academically & professionally on comparison in our family – so that gave further boost to his ego!

I do give a-lot of credit for my convent education & freedom to him but still that doesn’t take away from the fact that he tends to his rash & aggressive behaviour every now & then especially during my visit home. What gives me further hurt is that might be extending to my mother as well. My sister being the smart ass she is, gives in to his tantrums in order to get her own pocket money & course of life.

To summarise, I cannot bring up myself ever in life to love or respect him or even probably care genuinely but I cannot ignore him completely since he happens to be my father & still the head of the family.

I do hope that he realises that in behaving so he is losing out on so much & creating so much negativity around! But I know for sure that despite realising his mistakes he will never be able to accept his mistakes nor change it – these are the typical characteristics of “Indian Male Superiority Complex” syndrome which is incurable in my understanding & I shall not be victim of! Even if it means I will need to marry a foreigner & live my life outside my country now coz I have realised it is unbearable to the extent of being suffocating & painful.
I have seen enough victims of it – male & female who I have no respect for honestly.

But I would still choose to be & will show everyone to be the happiest & best & most favourite version of myself in this life itself.

How I feel about my career right now!

I feel good for sure!

Started off from Tata – got to do alot of things – Travel, Retail, Cross Functional & Cross geographical Experience. Definitely as good as Baby taking tiny steps & trying to grow while falling & trying still.

Moved into the pure B2C space & thankfully Technology & Digital Space – couple of Aggressive companies. Quite enjoyed the roles, work, speed, adrenaline rush but disappointed with people treatment & I don’t think it is to do with being Women or something, just they consider Manpower as Labour probably!

Then got to work in Pure Product Development & Ownership role which I feel closest with, got to build a nascent product into shape & share it with world as well. Great feeling. Felt myself undergo personal & professional transformations, understood my likings better, my style of work better, my zone/space better.

Trying to move into a bigger Global Space which can help me create bigger impact while enhancing my learnings.

There are people who call me non – sticky, not a long term player but who cares, I have always gone by my inner call & done things which are non conventional possibly that will lead me to do something disruptive in true sense 🙂 #Don’t worry

 

RIP Leila Seth!

Got news a bit late.. very saddened by the loss to Indian Law & Social Society.

Her book “Life On Balance” gave me a glimpse of her life & more than that gave me confidence to tread my path with all the confidence & conviction as per my beliefs.

A chance meeting during Bandra literary festival in 2015 shall be something I will always cherish – Thanks for all your contribution towards the society as a whole & for being an inspiration always. Will remember always in good & bad times. Leila-Seth

Let the Performance Come from the Gut!

I remember my Mom being an amazing Singer & Singing being her only indulgence apart from the daily household work!

I also remember her being very nervous before every performance & her Sir + co-performers giving her confidence before & during performance.
What I distinctly remember is that after every performance, the audience used to be stunned with her melody.

I used to wonder how – when she’s so nervous & I have hardly seen her practice at home, how do people go WOW with her voice.

Its much later that I realised, that performances need to come from the Gut to make an impact! Let it be an honest performance for it to be a great performance!

Also a quick mention for Pooja Sharma aka Draupadi for coming back from Hiatus.. Thank God & Thank You!

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