Emotional Quotient

EQ is a very rare quality in a human being & even a rarer quality in a Successful Leader.

I used to study & try to understand in college, but it’s a different ball game when you appear in work arena & then see how work demands/pressures are to be met with the People/Cultural aspects.

Of course one learns to manage the work demands & skill demands depending on one’s capacity. It’s always the people skill management that is the trickiest to master as it is very dynamic, variable to unpredictability.

I struggled with the same as well – majorly because there were a lot of aspects about myself that I had not explored or made myself aware e.g. how I respond to pressure, to a New team person, to a vendor, etc. Since I had not given them any thoughts consciously, mastering them was a far away task.

I think – till the age of 28, and 5 years of work experience – the effort was more or less optimise/adjust for survival and observe around. But I think it was during my 6th year of work experience, in 2015 when I decided to do a proper analysis & self haul of :

  1. Who i am?

  2. What do i want in life?

  3. What do I want in work life?

  4. What I need to do achieve 2 & 3?

This gave a lot of perspective & a lot of peace to myself as I then felt am moving in life with some sort of direction (not 100% clear but still some LIGHT). This made a lot of people interactions & my senior leadership alignments easier as well. I won’t say that it has been absolutely smooth sailing since then but still the choppy waters have seemed manageable & the belief to be able to make it the shore has grown stronger.

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Of course, the presence of my last manager & a few other leaders with higher EQ has made me realise even stronger & clearer on what I want in life & am thankful for that. I cannot stress more on the importance on such People focussed Leaders who groom young people & motivate them to achieve what they want in Life. They become life coaches & mentors, role models for them in moments of crisis.

Last week, one of the senior women leaders decided to move out of the company & it made me feel bad beyond what I imagined. Of course in the short span that I got to know her – she came across as an extremely understanding, warm, affectionate and easy to approach (Again rare leadership qualities). The extent to which she understood your position & could advise you accordingly amazed me – High High EQ. The amount of comfort she offered to a non – direct team member speaks volumes on her ability to connect. The fact that it wells up my eyes every time I think about the fact that she could not continue due to family commitments, speaks volumes about her ability to connect & leave a positive mark.
I do wish to be always there in her life & vice versa plus also hope for many more such people in life moving forward to make it worth it!

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Listen & Understand..!

Listening is an important skill….

It doesn’t only happen with ears but with eyes, mind & body touch as well..!

Perhaps listening by eyes is the most important one – since they don’t lie. It is difficult to falsify what one sees from one’s own eyes – about surroundings as well as of others & if you can see through someone’s eyes then there is nothing beyond it.

Yes – learn to listen to be a more compassionate & successful human being in Life in general.

Those who are a well rounded personality & are in general appreciated by all are considered to be excellent with their people management skills & that is because they come across as friendly & compassionate to most of the people around. They tend to listen, understand others latent + expressed needs/wants better & faster and come across as supportive to achieve them.

This is a great skill set – even when talking to your customers, while analysing data of your business, it is important that you are able to connect the dots and able to listen, understand their issues to provide them a solution.

Same applies in relationships – starting with parents, siblings, friends, cousins, companion, spouse, in-laws, children : it is imperative that you listen & understand what is the person wanting to communicate. Where are they coming from & why are they saying that plus what do they exactly want & then how can you give them that basis your self awareness.
Many a times – you can’t abide because of circumstances & your own limitations and there is nothing wrong in being honest about it. In fact, straight forwardness is much appreciated by the mature & upright people & held in high regard when communicated in the right spirit & well within time. In fact the ones who keep people hanging & dilly dallying are not appreciated neither are those who turn their faces back after saying YES.

But here’s one more thing about Listening & Understanding – its a Long Process & Evolving one. One has to actually invest time & energy into it by spending time, observing them, their actions, their interactions with other people, their backgrounds of course, their words & actions, dreams, relationships, etc.
Its like keeping a hawk eye on Stock Market Blue Chips which are your Key Investments – sometimes it happens that a few are not visible with less information available but appear very interesting & worth every penny – I find them the most interesting coz few people will go for it for the effort asked & it can very much be the game changer. I have always gone for the obvious yet elusive – be in terms of choices of clothes, career choices, hobbies, people, etc.

Am sure, it is an evolving journey & I will adapt to grow better plus faster once am able to identify my areas of improvement. Last 1year or so has been a struggle with coming to terms to my feelings, personality & I feel I have taken leaps in terms of learning to be Patient, Perseverant, Humble, Positive despite everything crashing, Being Strong & Cool.
Still I think – I have distance to go in terms of controlling my reactions, feelings, expressing my needs, wants to those around me in a much more effective & acceptable way.

  • The expression whenever it comes (let it come to the last possible in peace or conflict after understanding situation & all perspectives) has to be straight forward – without any drama & iota of doubt, straight forwardly as possible. Learn to control your wants/ desires for some other good time – what is Right or Good for all will Happen any which ways! You are too small a being – remember in a world outside your being. You can control your inside world & never what happens to you or what happens to others around you.
  • Similarly, others views/ feedbacks are to be taken with the same feeling of it being their perspective – filter it out to sensible stuff while leaving the rest of it.
  • Learn to be consistent in all situations – good or bad, outside or inside, home or at work. That way you are self aware & in touch with yourself all the time & their is no conflict of personalities & thoughts. You shall be much more at peace with yourself.
  • Be Loving, considerate more & more towards others & always bring the +ve feelings first even in case of conflict – YES, IT HELPS & ITS THE RIGHT WAY. Be compassionate towards others issues, challenges, situations.

These shall be good points to kick off your remaining part of the year & build your personal or work lives! Get Going!

Dear Women- do not give in!

That’s the word.. Do not ever give in!

Its tough being a woman as you are told, u heard, u feel, etc. But it is tough being anyone and they just learn to be themselves with the same gutso.

So you might be sidelined more, you might be leched at daily, you might be expected to give up everything for the sake of your family, it must be physiologically tougher for you, you might not have that many same gender idols to look at, etc.etc. but still do not give up!!
Always remember that for any situation and any person be it the celebrity or a poor man on platform, it requires extra effort and the zeal to get through.
The answer that you need to ask yourself at the end of everything is that who are you and what do you want?

There is a way around everything, you have to just go and pound on it.

Do not wait for the govt to create quota for you, or the companies to create special work profile for you. Be a leader, do not procrastinate, do not wait for others approvals.. Just believe in yourself and go for it. You shall discover your mojo on your own!

Neerja Bhanot… a heart felt salute !

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You shall be definitely one of those I would wanna meet when I come up there! One day we all have to.. how honourably we live, what difference we make towards lives of others.. how well we live is most important!
You did your bit extremely well – equally or better than Bhagat Singh or Gandhiji if I might say..

Courage, Commitment & Compassion – the 3 words companies/institutions try to imbibe for hundreds of years! You showed in a span of 17 hours…

There have been heroes before/after you but none I can recall have lived the way you did and has made me think so much – wonderful student, daughter, sister and above all a committed professional..
In short everything, middle class girls like me aspire to be and become.. but do we go to the extent to ensure we cover that extra mile..
I hope I do when the moment calls for it.. in wisdom and righteousness..

Am sorry that I was ignorant about your achievements till now..
How minuscule my life appears after seeing your mammoth achievements..
You did what only heroes or rather superheroes do..
(4 points – cautioning the pilots, being a calm mind to take care of passengers, presence of mind to hide american passports, when they open fired – you made way for people to rush out and died saving 3 young kids!)

Comparing what have I done in my professional life so far – tried to give my best to help customers, distributors out, earn crores for my company, tried to develop digital solutions..Tried to come out as a compassionate person..
But I have not done something outstanding….!

God is fair, Life is zero sum game to ensure we get what we deserve! Am sure you got and will get more than you deserve..!

Amen!

How just roaming around shopping with my Mom is my favorite thing..

Its strange.. how just small things please your heart to the greatest intensity possible..They make sure your day is made and please you to the max possible..

Going around with My Mom and shopping or just checking different items out, educating her about different new things available, new designs available, observing her reactions, amazement on them makes my day..

Making her happy, fulfilled, getting her what she wants by going that extra mile makes my day..

I truely hope n wish I can always do what makes her happy & keep her head high..!!

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