My Thoughts on Companionship

Since this topic is a lot on my & my parents’ minds – I thought of exploring it better & structuring it for getting some key insights out!

As a kid, as far as I can remember – I have always enjoyed others’ company & guidance, infact it has been almost a shortcoming like every other kid where they look for approval of others in everything.
I have also enjoyed making special friends who I can confide in & can spend time with, share lunches, viewpoints, learn from, etc.

As I grew up – I started looking at it as a BIG cause for my well being & that is where I went wrong a bit. I started over depending for every small emotional & needs on others which resulted in unnecessary emotional baggage!

But there has been something that I have learnt about companionship – IT CHANGES with TIME. And I have always looked at future possible relationships with the thought that things can change anytime coz of no fault of either parties. So there is no point in stressing over something that is frivolous in its nature.
There is another fact I have learnt that with plenty of external responsibilities, expectations – it has become more & more a thing of convenience. Which people develop & then break off as per their convenience. Even I might have done the same to others UNKNOWINGLY coz I know I cant do it on purpose.

Most of the reasons I have distanced from others is because they have resulted in making me the kind of person I don’t wish to be (mostly clingy & emotional). And it has always felt right after distancing myself from most of them. Some of them I have tried to touch base again for some reason & they have been great or many have not depending on situations on both sides.

Hence I have decided to be extremely careful about where I would invest my emotional energies & how which I believe is a good sign. It is important that people are busy & passionate, achievers in their own rights in their own fields. There should only be some necessary attachment or need for support which should be provided when really required.

But mostly the Best Ideal Companionship lets you be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be! I don’t think its clingy, its downgrading, it maybe makes you think a bit at necessary times but I do think a healthy functional relationship is positive, encouraging & motivating, supporting for mutual benefit.

And my aim is that only in any of the relationship/ friendship I seek – I find it very suffocating when it becomes selfish & malicious, power play, abusive as these are not the traits that I have grown up with & permit to stand on value system.

And I have decided that I will not accept sub – standards come what may in terms of work, husband, friends, hobbies, any ecosystem associated with me. #GodSpeed #WillNotRelent

 

 

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Human’s Stay on Earth

Have been thinking lately (these thoughts are definitely not based on any recent developments but are based on my observations, interactions, discussions, reading over the past known years).. am quite certain of following views as well :

  • I do not think that Humans were supposed to breed on this planet, this planet was (if) created then was meant for appreciation, wonder, happiness, peace, plentifulness, etc. As story goes Adam n Eve faulted & every one later are bearing the (black) fruits of it!
  • Coming on this earth, in which family, country, religion, etc. are not chosen by anyone. However what one believes, controls, speaks, acts, behaves, etc. are & should be owned by the individual herself/himself. Saying this is how it happens coz of background or circumstances is simply a poor craftsman
  • Now that one has come on this planet & got a life, body, mind, heart – one should make the max use of it to lead a fulfilling life which does not harp on any negativity, demeans others lives, compares, hurts oneself or others, etc.
  • Whatever life one gets – 10/30/50/70 years – one should lead a healthy meaningful life while trying to uplift others around, give hope/faith amongst others. Create & sustain happiness while discarding materialism.
  • In order to achieve this, one is gifted skills/knowledge/awareness which are to be made the most use of to uplift themselves as well as others around them. Acting selfish is going against the basic purpose of this life.

Some Blabber More..

Last night dinner with my cousin.. a few thoughts came up, which I have been thinking a lot lately for self improvement, became clearer & stronger further :

  • Confidence to look inside by being objective came from doing decently well at WORK – which is probably not Ideal or recommended but in my case it had to be via Work because it plays an extremely important role in my life.
  • Piush had alot to do with giving this confidence & then mentoring me to look further inside to become a better person – though his recommendations were from work aspects but its not surprising that exactly same qualities are required by me in current life – To be Analytical, Amiable 🙂 always..
  • Sneha’s constant response to my blabbers, traits, behaviours, words were more than helpful – Probably I am indebted to her for Life for this. I used to always think that am high on empathy, concern for others & outward looking while honestly I was only being selfish in all my pursuits by only expressing what I felt was right while ACTUALLY NOT realising what the other person is saying or wanting to say or means or feels. This has been a revelation of sorts to be equally if not more concerned about what the other person is saying, feeling, thinking, wanting.
  • Probably all my relationships have gone wrong at some points coz of my constant need to control & looking inward only – Mac, Rahul, Appy, Shweta Di, Nakul are a few I can think FirstHand.
  • Am not very good at Letting Go! It comes from Impatience, not trusting others to do the Right, not giving space – COMPLETE NO NO!
  • I was not very good at having difficult conversations – but have to learn the art of having a difficult conversation in a calm & peaceful way.
  • I did fear losing others and myself a lot – majorly Fear was making all the decisions which is not the Right way always! 

My recent take on Travelling

I think what pains me immensely these days is that how Travel has become a thoughtless activity that people indulge into when they have 1 day or 2 days off or longer vacation at spare.
They just seem to indulge into it without really understanding the true meaning of travel & its benefits. Maybe its a one way opinion as a lot of my critics in the past have commented. However, when I talk to these people who claim to love travelling & indulge into regularly I find & feel they have simply wasted money & their time.
They have gone & done something without taking all the wonderful things which travelling to a new place has to offer.

This gives rise to a lot of unwanted providers or travel agents/portals/marketplaces which are also formed by people who feel they know travelling & business so why not to bring them together. These providers become the eyes of these travellers who do not know where they want to see.

Not taking away from some of the great travelling experiences which are provided by some great individuals, providers. Ganga Panga by Mohit Midha is one of the closest which has achieved greatness plus our Spiti Trip became great because of people’s enthusiasm, great place.

However recently after coming back from Bhutan Trip – I didn’t feel that achievement or euphoria perhaps coz of the company in travel or because I was stressed due to recent office stuff. The place was great, met some lovely people, had loads of road travel which I love, however I did not feel top of the world but felt tired & didn’t feel like going to travel again soon 😦 which is very unlike me. Am I getting too old?

I think I would like to travel to more fascinating places with more fascinating people who also share the love of travel & like to encourage one another to explore more & better in a not so obvious way. People who are a lot more accommodating & giving plus not demanding are the kind of people I know to get along well with on long term.

Am sure there are more wonderful trips coming! 🙂

A few important learnings which came my way : Patience is not about waiting but what you do while waiting, having calmness is a sign of great strength, there is nothing more important than your work – having complete dedication towards is the ultimate way towards Nirvana. Be a Professional & one can hardly go wrong!

Current Stage – Consolidation!

This is how I would like to see this stage as – Consolidating my health, work, personality amongst all priorities.

Work – its going rather well so far (touchwood) with UX & Digital Business responsibilities & got an amazing Boss to interact daily with as a friend, mentor, guide.

Health – Solid effort going in here & do not want this to get impacted in any way. Reduced frame-size, increased strength, stamina, daily workout sessions with right set of positive & vibrant people is extremely helpful.

Personality – I have been wanting to become a more calm, controlled, serene, fewer words, more giving, letting go person for some time now. I am glad to say that I do see with time, people, efforts – things are moving in that direction.

Household responsibilities along with eating habits – This was a major cause of worry in my case as I was quite lazy & careless like a (tom) boy towards this. However with time, effort & people again – I have learnt to take care of these things as they are extremely crucial to lead a happy & balanced life. Now I eat, sleep on time – somehow if I can change the food at office – it will be perfect.

Friends/People/Family – With maturity & experience, I have learnt to appreciate the kind of people I want to have around me while keeping others at bay. Gone are the days when I used to get confused among friends, situations & used to find myself gasping for escape. Glad to have found more solace here – Finding my Man is the only gap waiting to be fulfilled.

My startup/business – Having my own Digital Consultancy is what has come as an ideal solution for me – Let us see if I do this or something else. The school + studio + organic farm + yoga retreat house Dream also awaits. Refinement is awaiting & other pieces waiting to fall into place.

Travel/Photography – This is the only spot I feel am not doing 100% justice to given the amount of travel & clicking I used to do till 1 year back when every week I would just take off locally and every 2-3 months some place out. However, this piece is also getting consolidated now by pushing me into doing only great memorable trips solo or with 1 or 2 people I really wish to be with. Am sure my clicking results have grown & will continue to amaze everyone!

Amen!

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I wish to be..

I wish to be a fewer words person…
Even if there are umpteen feelings, emotions rising inside…

I want to be balanced & serene & softer/mellower…
Even if any situation demands me to have reactions…

I want to be womanlike graceful & aesthetically class apart…
Even if people around me fail to appreciate it same time..

Wish to be far more travelled, exposed to different people/cultures,
Even if it takes far more effort & time to make plans & execute them..

I wish to be with People who let me be and at the same time inspire me to grow..
Even if it means exploring wide & waiting for right selection while being without one/few…

I wish to be self sufficient emotionally, financially, socially..& feel confident, assured about it..
Even if it means telling yourself to be strong every day,moment!

(Dedicated towards all the women in daily lives who achieve this consistently knowingly & KungFu Panda 3 which thought once again to have belief in all the goodness around)12799105_10153943476592731_8114143395436703172_n

Rise & Shine.. Everytime!

Rise n shine…bright & fine…
To strike the chime….
Not to miss a single time…
Also not lose a single dime..

Luckily had some time to dine…
Accompanied by a toasty wine..
& Berries picked from a fresh vine..

Same time met a friend of mine..
Who had just found a goldmine…
By crossing over the French Line..

Retreating home, found a forest of pine
Tried searching some solace  – but no sign!
At last realised on reaching home on time,
Rise & Shine every time is the Line to Rhyme..

Why I do Photography?!

My first stint with camera I remember is clicking as a kid with my Dad’s mirror-less Kodak camera with a roll inside from the age of 9. The reason was that it helped me grab a frame that would go down for eternity – as I had seen plenty of family albums with black & white images – weddings, picnics, festivals, new born kids in studios, old family patriarchs in their rocking chairs. However the ones that held my attention for longest and I considered closest were the candid images – with my dad/mom/dadi/baba,etc. looking carelessly or sometimes not even looking at the camera. Yet they came across as loveable people – that made me love them more.

Coming back to my stint with camera – though I started at age of 9 however I did not have much control over what I shot so I felt in a way I was not improving nor learning much. I did not continue it till I came in MBA course. Here as well I did not have a camera however I felt great almost high when I saw some great images of my batch-mates and that is how I came to know about DSLR – as late as 2010.

{Late it was given the international scenario however in India – the photograph enthusiasts had started owning one since 2007-08.}

All I remember is that the first thing I wanted to buy for myself after MBA from my own money, even more than good food & clothes, was a DSLR. I felt it would be my VENT for my creative energies, it would act as my correspondent for whatever good I had to share with the world apart from my professional career where not much was in my control. It would also be my friend when I travel, meet new people, look at things differently or just when I didn’t want to express anything. And voila, it has been the best friend & companion in the world so far. Words are not enough to thank it – the fact that I can go back and revisit all that we saw together & cherish memories or better find new facts while staring at a rare image makes everything more special about it.

I had to push myself to go and click every weekend in the beginning, even silly events, not so happening places, disinterested people but the importance was on building a routine, a group of self critics who push each other and in the process share some good stuff. However, that was just a beginning.

My real turning point came during April – June 2012 when I visited Cape Town and Kashmir, I saw my photography grow by leaps and bounds. Combined with a new zoom lens, beautiful landscapes, relaxed atmosphere I just delved and delved into clicking what I loved – landscapes, candid, street. The results for the first time surprised me and I knew I have something good to share with everyone else for sure.

Post that – it was Spiti that brought good from me, Delhi Archeological buildings, recently Kasol, Northeast/Northwest India and some product/candid/street shoots that I really enjoyed while exploring. Exposure to Steve Mccurry’s work makes me push more & more. Sadly 90% of other people I find in this space are simply either wannabes, non-inspiring, ill – informed about their talents and for some reason I have not been able to tell any of them honestly what I think about their work.

Why I still click – coz it has become an inseparable aspect of my life, it helps me capture something that connects my inside with the world outside and keep it for eternity, it helps me in expressing my feeling about my surroundings, interactions with people, my perspective in one frame without saying a word and perhaps also share with the world.

I wish & hope I get to cover every inch worth on the Earth & capture everything that connects with me by my camera-mushy!

As you are approaching 30!

Its just a number – Yes I agree, Age is a number and it depends on you how much you let it impact yourself.

However, with Age comes experience and perspective more importantly that helps you have an overall approach over important matters. It also helps you to filter things better – what is important from what is not.

For 30 specifically – I can share following specific unique changes one experiences in one’s life however remain common if you compare everyone else’s lives as a sample case :

  • You learn to spend time on your own
  • You get better grip of your professional and personal career
  • You have finally realised the importance of your family in your life
  • Your no. of friends get fewer but friendships deeper
  • You have realised what Love is really about, for yourself
  • You are wiser and calmer than your early 20s
  • You have some more financial independence
  • You have got a knock – knock to keep your physical and mental health intact
  • A bunch of your true friends have turned out to be WHAT?!
  • You have tried and tested most of the things that fascinated you as a student – money, luxury, good food, wine, etc. though not satisfied your buds completely
  • Most of us have found our mojo or passions in our lives – even if it is as simple as being a family person or just being happy all the time
  • In the end its about being yourself – having a lot of fun while doing anything anything in life!

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