Since this topic is a lot on my & my parents’ minds – I thought of exploring it better & structuring it for getting some key insights out!
As a kid, as far as I can remember – I have always enjoyed others’ company & guidance, infact it has been almost a shortcoming like every other kid where they look for approval of others in everything.
I have also enjoyed making special friends who I can confide in & can spend time with, share lunches, viewpoints, learn from, etc.
As I grew up – I started looking at it as a BIG cause for my well being & that is where I went wrong a bit. I started over depending for every small emotional & needs on others which resulted in unnecessary emotional baggage!
But there has been something that I have learnt about companionship – IT CHANGES with TIME. And I have always looked at future possible relationships with the thought that things can change anytime coz of no fault of either parties. So there is no point in stressing over something that is frivolous in its nature.
There is another fact I have learnt that with plenty of external responsibilities, expectations – it has become more & more a thing of convenience. Which people develop & then break off as per their convenience. Even I might have done the same to others UNKNOWINGLY coz I know I cant do it on purpose.
Most of the reasons I have distanced from others is because they have resulted in making me the kind of person I don’t wish to be (mostly clingy & emotional). And it has always felt right after distancing myself from most of them. Some of them I have tried to touch base again for some reason & they have been great or many have not depending on situations on both sides.
Hence I have decided to be extremely careful about where I would invest my emotional energies & how which I believe is a good sign. It is important that people are busy & passionate, achievers in their own rights in their own fields. There should only be some necessary attachment or need for support which should be provided when really required.
But mostly the Best Ideal Companionship lets you be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be! I don’t think its clingy, its downgrading, it maybe makes you think a bit at necessary times but I do think a healthy functional relationship is positive, encouraging & motivating, supporting for mutual benefit.
And my aim is that only in any of the relationship/ friendship I seek – I find it very suffocating when it becomes selfish & malicious, power play, abusive as these are not the traits that I have grown up with & permit to stand on value system.
And I have decided that I will not accept sub – standards come what may in terms of work, husband, friends, hobbies, any ecosystem associated with me. #GodSpeed #WillNotRelent