Emotional Quotient

EQ is a very rare quality in a human being & even a rarer quality in a Successful Leader.

I used to study & try to understand in college, but it’s a different ball game when you appear in work arena & then see how work demands/pressures are to be met with the People/Cultural aspects.

Of course one learns to manage the work demands & skill demands depending on one’s capacity. It’s always the people skill management that is the trickiest to master as it is very dynamic, variable to unpredictability.

I struggled with the same as well – majorly because there were a lot of aspects about myself that I had not explored or made myself aware e.g. how I respond to pressure, to a New team person, to a vendor, etc. Since I had not given them any thoughts consciously, mastering them was a far away task.

I think – till the age of 28, and 5 years of work experience – the effort was more or less optimise/adjust for survival and observe around. But I think it was during my 6th year of work experience, in 2015 when I decided to do a proper analysis & self haul of :

  1. Who i am?

  2. What do i want in life?

  3. What do I want in work life?

  4. What I need to do achieve 2 & 3?

This gave a lot of perspective & a lot of peace to myself as I then felt am moving in life with some sort of direction (not 100% clear but still some LIGHT). This made a lot of people interactions & my senior leadership alignments easier as well. I won’t say that it has been absolutely smooth sailing since then but still the choppy waters have seemed manageable & the belief to be able to make it the shore has grown stronger.

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Of course, the presence of my last manager & a few other leaders with higher EQ has made me realise even stronger & clearer on what I want in life & am thankful for that. I cannot stress more on the importance on such People focussed Leaders who groom young people & motivate them to achieve what they want in Life. They become life coaches & mentors, role models for them in moments of crisis.

Last week, one of the senior women leaders decided to move out of the company & it made me feel bad beyond what I imagined. Of course in the short span that I got to know her – she came across as an extremely understanding, warm, affectionate and easy to approach (Again rare leadership qualities). The extent to which she understood your position & could advise you accordingly amazed me – High High EQ. The amount of comfort she offered to a non – direct team member speaks volumes on her ability to connect. The fact that it wells up my eyes every time I think about the fact that she could not continue due to family commitments, speaks volumes about her ability to connect & leave a positive mark.
I do wish to be always there in her life & vice versa plus also hope for many more such people in life moving forward to make it worth it!

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Have 0 Resolutions, 100 More Dreams!

Yes! Dreams Work!

Visualise them, clearly, cleanly & with no references nor influences. See them with a Happy & Relaxed Mindset with no pressures & no desires. Just visualise where You See yourself doing what, with who!

It is important that you see your Dream Vividly & Stay Honest to IT all the while.

Believe.

Now find steps to reach them & Get after them Non – Stop with complete focus & belief.

Surround Yourself with People who will be happy to see you there!

Be Patient.

Yes, its that Simple – Dream, Be Focussed, Find Steps, Work incessantly & Surround Yourself with Right People.

All Your Dreams will come True Like A Brightly Lit Sky Full of Stars & The Moon! Just Believe & Be Focussed.

Life Filled with Contradictions!

There are Contradictions/ Paradoxes all over to be seen :

  • We all know, 5-10 years are our Life’s most formative years & at least in India & even otherwise Our Parents (50-60%), Society (20%), Our school(15-20%), Media (5-10%) play the most crucial role in deciding what shall we be, what our values, our likings/dis-likings, our career choice will be. Still we complain/grudge about our choices without realising that they have been unconsciously ingrained into our systems long before us & changing the same will take a hell lot of secluded exclusive efforts on the particular issue/behavioural change!
  • We all know our true sides TRULY like none others ; Some our parents, siblings, friends get to see & even help us be our better versions. However, the true growth happens only when you invest your emotions in a situation/ person without hoping to get anything out of it – they result in failure (more)/success for different reasons but you always come out of it learning something new about yourself. That’s the most beautiful part about LIFE & LIVING! Yet, we either resist to invest or we do not listen what the Life is telling us.
  • Most of us are well aware of our history & the significant incidents, characters, their mistakes, things well done. Yet we continue to make same mistakes hoping for a different result, misjudging small lapses of revolt as complete absence of it.
  • We all know the conditions of different people in different countries, different cultures/societies still when we interact with them we are able to connect with them on same level & also we forget to take them into account when we consider their overall situation – their interests, lifestyle thinking they should be like us 🙂

 

So far so Good!

It’s good to have reached so far professionally & having found my true MoJo (in terms of work, interests, hobbies, lifestyle) & having learnt much more about myself – but this thirst is something that never stops & you want to learn more & more about yourself.

Abroad (UK/USA) Role in Digital Space & A Pleasant Guy who’s smiling, values driven, global in approach, professional, mature (Not necessarily Indian) with pleasant personality.

Away from everyone & everything who’s holding me back wherever they are – to have a small set of people who get you in the most obvious warm, accepting, welcoming way! Bedi, Mac, Hitesh, Rahul, Chetna! Piush/Manish, Vandana… Tata Steel Folks… J&J folks…

A key Learning for me is that I make better friends with people I connect outside my daily curriculum & with who I connect on subjects of common interest like music, travel, philosophy, values in life, reading, writing, clicking, etc. with the undercurrent of Career & Aspirations. Plus with who I connect for my “pure connect” and not for any common interests & means to achieve something.

Since I give so much value to people in my life – its most important I do more of following :

  • Let people Be – let them choose, react, behave, they wish to be
  • Be an observer & listener more
  • Choose to only speak in the end & when very necessary & mostly well, smiling, polite
  • Be a Giver always with people
  • Take it slow & organic
  • Always be encouraging of their efforts & their achievements + supportive of their challenges/issues
  • Always speak well & with a calm serene head
  • Come out approachable, helpful but within the constraints of the situation. Do not go out of your way always & definitely at first

Have recently decided to invest in Art of Diplomacy & have moved on the path of mastering it.

More Interests : World History especially Political ; Human Psychology evolution ; Documentaries + Podcasts on Sports, Tech, Good Music, Travel Passions, Journalism, Creativity, Diplomacy, Animation, UX, Business, Social Entrepreneurship, Mystery/ Detective-ship (Art of Deduction/Art of Induction) ; Hypothesis & Building Logic for Predictions!

Changing faces of Us & Our “Friendships”

Hello! So am back to write after a small self forced hiatus 🙂 It feels good to see the words flowing from your brain to your fingertips & appearing in front of your eyes again!

Life has been a bit different with the new role & hence the changes – its weird that how my Life has undergone so many changes around the job roles I have done in past few years. Shows good that my job profile is the most important thing for me in these years but bad that am not able to keep my own personal life in control to be unaffected with changes around it!

I do feel certainly that I took time to find MY SHOE FIT.

But am glad I tried so many different ones & then finally found my best fitting, comfortable ones that were customised to my needs. Did that with my lifestyle, career & now am optimistic of same happening for my Life Partner.

Now coming to the subject of “Friendships” which has been my favourite subject unconsciously since childhood days.

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Emotion is one of the strong things that I was introduced to as a kid during my growing up years – valuing your family, respecting your elders, always speaking good, believing in God & the values, understanding our history & ancestry to learn good practices.

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So I could never forget it!

And I always valued it a lot wherever I found it – it was like me becoming a gemstone expert & start wanting to polish the gems as soon as I locate one during my education, travel, professions, social circle, etc.
What I also figured out with relating to emotion was that investment was not foolhardy, it was giving me returns to be a more self aware, worldly wise, mature human so I continued to invest & even do so now.
Maybe my portfolio selection has undergone a change now thanks to a few bad experiences in the past where I either invested too much too soon (more) or I failed to overlook a good opportunity (less).

And I do feel proud that I have become wiser to selection of my people – friends, colleagues, networking groups & others thanks to updating my qualifying parameters & accordingly updating myself + tastes. I definitely do not take things on face value any more & I definitely do not make an opinion about others or try to form a bond inorganically.

With People, it is best when it is ORGANIC!

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Sometimes, circumstances play a role in making that judgement or bond formation quicker but as a qualified and self aware human – one should understand those factors well! I feel this is the beauty of a human being always be able to prove it’s superiority over machines.

ADAPTABILITY & EMOTIONAL BONDING makes HUMAN > MACHINES

Am happy where I have reached so far in my journey – looking forward to explore More & Meet New interesting people before reaching my final destination.

I wish to become more quieter, observing, less expressing, A polished Digital Consultant (who is truly a PM at basics) Profile, socially more acceptable & enhance my intake of ignoring the unnecessary (Thickening of SKIIN – adding more Onion Layers Happily) !

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Listen & Understand..!

Listening is an important skill….

It doesn’t only happen with ears but with eyes, mind & body touch as well..!

Perhaps listening by eyes is the most important one – since they don’t lie. It is difficult to falsify what one sees from one’s own eyes – about surroundings as well as of others & if you can see through someone’s eyes then there is nothing beyond it.

Yes – learn to listen to be a more compassionate & successful human being in Life in general.

Those who are a well rounded personality & are in general appreciated by all are considered to be excellent with their people management skills & that is because they come across as friendly & compassionate to most of the people around. They tend to listen, understand others latent + expressed needs/wants better & faster and come across as supportive to achieve them.

This is a great skill set – even when talking to your customers, while analysing data of your business, it is important that you are able to connect the dots and able to listen, understand their issues to provide them a solution.

Same applies in relationships – starting with parents, siblings, friends, cousins, companion, spouse, in-laws, children : it is imperative that you listen & understand what is the person wanting to communicate. Where are they coming from & why are they saying that plus what do they exactly want & then how can you give them that basis your self awareness.
Many a times – you can’t abide because of circumstances & your own limitations and there is nothing wrong in being honest about it. In fact, straight forwardness is much appreciated by the mature & upright people & held in high regard when communicated in the right spirit & well within time. In fact the ones who keep people hanging & dilly dallying are not appreciated neither are those who turn their faces back after saying YES.

But here’s one more thing about Listening & Understanding – its a Long Process & Evolving one. One has to actually invest time & energy into it by spending time, observing them, their actions, their interactions with other people, their backgrounds of course, their words & actions, dreams, relationships, etc.
Its like keeping a hawk eye on Stock Market Blue Chips which are your Key Investments – sometimes it happens that a few are not visible with less information available but appear very interesting & worth every penny – I find them the most interesting coz few people will go for it for the effort asked & it can very much be the game changer. I have always gone for the obvious yet elusive – be in terms of choices of clothes, career choices, hobbies, people, etc.

Am sure, it is an evolving journey & I will adapt to grow better plus faster once am able to identify my areas of improvement. Last 1year or so has been a struggle with coming to terms to my feelings, personality & I feel I have taken leaps in terms of learning to be Patient, Perseverant, Humble, Positive despite everything crashing, Being Strong & Cool.
Still I think – I have distance to go in terms of controlling my reactions, feelings, expressing my needs, wants to those around me in a much more effective & acceptable way.

  • The expression whenever it comes (let it come to the last possible in peace or conflict after understanding situation & all perspectives) has to be straight forward – without any drama & iota of doubt, straight forwardly as possible. Learn to control your wants/ desires for some other good time – what is Right or Good for all will Happen any which ways! You are too small a being – remember in a world outside your being. You can control your inside world & never what happens to you or what happens to others around you.
  • Similarly, others views/ feedbacks are to be taken with the same feeling of it being their perspective – filter it out to sensible stuff while leaving the rest of it.
  • Learn to be consistent in all situations – good or bad, outside or inside, home or at work. That way you are self aware & in touch with yourself all the time & their is no conflict of personalities & thoughts. You shall be much more at peace with yourself.
  • Be Loving, considerate more & more towards others & always bring the +ve feelings first even in case of conflict – YES, IT HELPS & ITS THE RIGHT WAY. Be compassionate towards others issues, challenges, situations.

These shall be good points to kick off your remaining part of the year & build your personal or work lives! Get Going!

TOP 5 Europe Moments.. I might need to stretch it!

Meeting Dr. Emily Bacon

Drinking Bar sessions with Nicole, Darcy, Emily, Chriss

Prague City Walk

Budapest Evenings

Krakow Late Night Walk

Berlin History Tour

Slovakia Sleepy Town Walks

Vienna Amusement Park Fun

Vienna Concert

Schindler’s + Auschwitz Guided Tour

Details + Pics later

Thoughts on Companionship

Since this topic is a lot on my & my parents’ minds – I thought of exploring it better & structuring it for getting some key insights out!

As a kid, as far as I can remember – I have always enjoyed others’ company & guidance, infact it has been almost a shortcoming like every other kid where they look for approval of others in everything.
I have also enjoyed making special friends who I can confide in & can spend time with, share lunches, viewpoints, learn from, etc.

As I grew up – I started looking at it as a BIG cause for my well being & that is where I went wrong a bit. I started over depending for every small emotional & needs on others which resulted in unnecessary emotional baggage!

But there has been something that I have learnt about companionship – IT CHANGES with TIME. And I have always looked at future possible relationships with the thought that things can change anytime coz of no fault of either parties. So there is no point in stressing over something that is frivolous in its nature.
There is another fact I have learnt that with plenty of external responsibilities, expectations – it has become more & more a thing of convenience. Which people develop & then break off as per their convenience. Even I might have done the same to others UNKNOWINGLY coz I know I cant do it on purpose.

Most of the reasons I have distanced from others is because they have resulted in making me the kind of person I don’t wish to be (mostly clingy & emotional). And it has always felt right after distancing myself from most of them. Some of them I have tried to touch base again for some reason & they have been great or many have not depending on situations on both sides.

Hence I have decided to be extremely careful about where I would invest my emotional energies & how which I believe is a good sign. It is important that people are busy & passionate, achievers in their own rights in their own fields. There should only be some necessary attachment or need for support which should be provided when really required.

But mostly the Best Ideal Companionship lets you be the Best Version of Yourself that you can be! I don’t think its clingy, its downgrading, it maybe makes you think a bit at necessary times but I do think a healthy functional relationship is positive, encouraging & motivating, supporting for mutual benefit.

And my aim is that only in any of the relationship/ friendship I seek – I find it very suffocating when it becomes selfish & malicious, power play, abusive as these are not the traits that I have grown up with & permit to stand on value system.

And I have decided that I will not accept sub – standards come what may in terms of work, husband, girl & boy friends, hobbies, any ecosystem associated with me. #GodSpeed #WillNotRelent

My Time is Yet to Come!

Hence it is important to believe….. With undeterred confidence..

Believe well & strong & in a non – deterring way

Let nothing make you think otherwise!

Do more of things that make you feel wanted, Loved, at peace, balanced.

Be indifferent to wants, desires, expectations, results, what next!

Just focus on doing your best in current moment & leave the rest!

Success/ Failure should be considered the same..

Doing your deed with dedication should be your focus.

Detach yourself from all that is false, just focus on Good & your deed

It is important to remind yourself of these small things….

Human’s Stay on Earth

Have been thinking lately (these thoughts are definitely not based on any recent developments but are based on my observations, interactions, discussions, reading over the past known years).. am quite certain of following views as well :

  • I do not think that Humans were supposed to breed on this planet, this planet was (if) created then was meant for appreciation, wonder, happiness, peace, plentifulness, etc. As story goes Adam n Eve faulted & every one later are bearing the (black) fruits of it!
  • Coming on this earth, in which family, country, religion, etc. are not chosen by anyone. However what one believes, controls, speaks, acts, behaves, etc. are & should be owned by the individual herself/himself. Saying this is how it happens coz of background or circumstances is simply a poor craftsman
  • Now that one has come on this planet & got a life, body, mind, heart – one should make the max use of it to lead a fulfilling life which does not harp on any negativity, demeans others lives, compares, hurts oneself or others, etc.
  • Whatever life one gets – 10/30/50/70 years – one should lead a healthy meaningful life while trying to uplift others around, give hope/faith amongst others. Create & sustain happiness while discarding materialism.
  • In order to achieve this, one is gifted skills/knowledge/awareness which are to be made the most use of to uplift themselves as well as others around them. Acting selfish is going against the basic purpose of this life.

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